It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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