Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
