Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
