tell your sister to shave her snatch
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
