If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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