I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I need a beard to bite.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
