The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
