so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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