you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
