Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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