Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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