found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
