Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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