Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i out mim tonsoeep
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