I wish I could teleport
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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