My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
