just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The convent might be a nice break from real life
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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