arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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