Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Someone shit on the floor
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
