he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You're like the curious george of whores
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
