kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
