I'm eating all of the evidence.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
