whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
