There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
