"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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