In America we eat man semen.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
