"it" just moved
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
