I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize