I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
