Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
