he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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