After last night, I could never be a politician.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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