SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I wear drunk well.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
