Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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