awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
