yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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