why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
