Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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