I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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