I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
