those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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