What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
