I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
