tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
