I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We left the knife in your bed.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Holy shit dude........stairs
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
