oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
