her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
