sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
