Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
