He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
